


Drinks and Demolition

by JA_Authoress



Series: Muggle Mishaps [12]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas 1978, Drinking, Eggnog, F/M, M/M, if you squint you can really see it here, jily, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-09
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-05-05 20:24:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5389055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JA_Authoress/pseuds/JA_Authoress
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>December 8 and 9, 1978</p><p>Lily is in a bit of a pickle.  She has to choose the drinks for the annual Potter Christmas Party.  Naturally, she turns to Sirius to help.<br/>“Fear not, my dear Evans! Years of inbreeding have prepared me for such an occasion.  I’ve been waiting for the chance to showcase my superior posh upbringing.”</p><p>3 hours of eggnog tasting later, and it's decided that having a gingerbread making contest is the greatest idea of the decade.<br/>“Padfoot! For the last time, the icing is meant to stick things to other things, not to suck on.  Stop eating it!”</p><p>“If it wasn’t meant for eating, it wouldn’t taste so good.”</p><p>‘Do you really want to lose to Prongs and Lily?”</p><p>“Merlin, no.”</p><p>“Then STOP EATING OUR BLOODY ICING!”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1

December 8, 1978  
7:14 p.m.

Most people think Friday is a gift from the gods, a time to celebrate a week well done. 

They usually forget about the poor souls that have jobs with wonky work hours that must stay open 7 days a week in order to cater to the lucky fools who had the weekends to themselves.

Remus was one such an unlucky character with a wonky work schedule.

“No, Pads, I will not go out for a, as you so eloquently put it, ‘raging raunchy night on the town’.”

“But Moony! Marlene McKinnon will be there! You know she fancies you.”

She is not my taste, Remus mused darkly. Come to think of it, I’m not exactly her taste either.

“She does not, I’m pretty sure I see her making eyes at Dorcas more than me.”

“Oh… That would explain a lot.”

“You think?”

“Regardless, we can’t let this night slip from our grasps, we have to do something.”

“Ah, sorry gents, am I interrupting a famous Black-Lupin lovers’ spat?” A disembodied voice rang through their flat.

“Wotcher Evans!” Sirius sauntered over to the fireplace, where the green flames danced into Lily’s image. “Care to join us?”

“Padfoot!”

“As much fun as that sounds, I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind popping over and helping me out. James is being an utter toe rag about the whole situation, and I thought, in spite of your horrific upbringing, you might be able to help me choose an appropriate drink for the Potter Christmas Party.”

“Evans, are you trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me? I assure you, I’d never cheat on my dear Moony here.”

“Sod off Black, I really need your help.” Lily’s voice had taken a slightly panicked undertone. She completely missed her cue to send a knowing glance at Remus over his flatmate’s choice of words.

Sirius actually must have sensed it, because he did the sensible thing and shut up for the most part. 

“We’ll be over in five.”

“Bring any glasses you can with you.”

“Er, sure thing, Evans.”

When the duo arrived at the Potter-Evans flat, the Potter half was sitting on the floor in the corner like he was on a time out, and the Evans half was flittering about the kitchen, grabbing glasses from their cupboard and lining them up on the table.

“Oh, thank Merlin, you’re here!” Lily grabbed the box of glasses from Remus. “Have you lot eaten anything yet?”

“No, my dear,” James said from his spot on the floor. “You haven’t fed me yet.”

The clanking in the kitchen stopped and Lily poked her head around the corner into the living room. 

Sirius and Remus shifted awkwardly.

“Well, maybe you could actually be useful and grab us some takeout from somewhere.”

“Right! We’re on it,” Remus said quickly. He pulled James up off the floor. “Don’t worry, Lily, we’ll be back to help you with whatever you need in a flash.”

8:01 p.m.

Chinese takeout successfully devoured, and the Marauder set finally complete as Peter Flooed in a few minutes ago (just in time to eat the last spring roll).

“All right, now, this aristocratic body is well nourished and ready for anything.” Sirius stretched out on the couch, half sprawled on Remus and Peter.

“Well, Mrs. Potter—”

“She insists you either call her Euphemia or Mum, you know that.”

“—Asked me to choose the drinks for the annual Christmas Party. There are going to be so many people there, including the Minister of Magic! I can’t decide what brand of eggnog to use, or the whisky, or anything!” Lily started pacing between the living room and the kitchen.

James looked at his best friends for help, looking totally at a loss.

Sirius stepped up to the challenge.

“Fear not, my dear Evans! Years of inbreeding have prepared me for such an occasion. I’ve been waiting for the chance to showcase my superior posh upbringing.”

“Black—Sirius—you have no idea how much I appreciate this.”

“Me too mate, me too.”

“All right! Let’s get on with this. Now tell me, what is eggnog?”

8:45 p.m.

After a general testing eggnog and having a rather lengthy discussion about whether or not it was actually any good, it was time to introduce the muggle tradition of spiking the drink.

“Do you put whisky or rum in with eggnog?”

“I think you put rum,” Remus answered at the exact same time Peter said, “I think it’s whisky.”

This resulted in Lily setting out five glasses and filling them with half shots of whisky (a rather decent Scottish brand) and eggnog.

“Oh Merlin’s saggy balls!” James gasped after downing his glass. “It wasn’t all that brilliant before, but how the bloody hell do muggles drink this?”

“Definitely not whisky! I’m so sorry everyone.” Peter gagged. Why he then finished off his glass was a complete mystery.

Remus contemplated cutting off a layer of his tongue 

Sirius was taking his position of official eggnog taster rather seriously. “I’m not quite sure this is the taste you want to go for.”

“That’s why I had you lot try it out before I did.” Lily smirked.

“Oi! That’s not fair!” James whined.

Lily grabbed her glass and tossed back the horrific mixture without so much of a grimace. “Hmm, it’s almost passable. The aftertaste is rather shite though, wouldn’t you agree?”

The Marauders stared at her.

“Prongs, mate, have you ever seen Lily drunk before?” Sirius whispered quite conspicuously.

James shook his head.

“Rum next!”

The rum went much better.

“All right! Now, we need to find the best eggnog brand to match this rum.”

“Why can’t we find the best rum, too?”

“Because this is Dad’s favourite brand of rum, of course we’re serving it.”

“Plus, I think we should at least be a little bit sober to make such an important decision.”

“Good idea, Moony!” Sirius finished off his whisky and eggnog. “Bring it on, Evans.”

9:59 p.m.

“Moony! Why is it called ‘chicken milk’ in French?! I thought was eggs. Can you milk a chicken?”

“I don’t think so, where did you see that?”

“On the label, right here.” Sirius pointed to the general location of the ingredient list. They were three glasses in, and Lily was being rather liberal with her rum.

“Lait du poule. Sure, Padfoot, you can milk a chicken.”

“That’s bloody amazing.”

10:43 p.m.

“This one is the best so far!” Peter declared for the fifth time.

Sirius, still trying to keep it together and act the least bit sober, nodded. “The chicken milk is absolutely divine in this one. It really compliments the hidden flavours of the rum.”

“You are so full of shite.”

“You still love me though, eh Moony?”

“Of course he does!” Lily declared loudly. She wasn’t the most subtle drunk. There was a distinct reddening of her cheeks, but otherwise, she appeared to be quite sober. It was when she opened her mouth that her current state was revealed.

“Lily, darling, haven’t we tried enough yet?” James had been giving half of his glasses to Remus and Peter. He had to watch over his fiancée and make sure she didn't say or do anything regrettable.

“We’ve still got two more brands to try, Potter! We’re not stopping until we’ve chosen the absolute best. I will not be a disappointment to your parents.”

“You haven’t called me Potter since the beginning of Seventh Year.”

“Careful Prongs.” Sirius cautioned. And when Sirius is the one doing the cautioning, it was a good idea to take it into consideration.

“I have work in the morning, if anyone’s interested in knowing.”

“We’re not.”

“Thank you for your honesty, Wormtail.”

“Any time!”

“No one is leaving until we’ve tried all the eggnog!”

11:23 p.m.

“It’s decided.” Lily swayed slightly at the kitchen table, which was quite the battlefield of eggnog cartons, rum bottles, and empty glasses with the remaining dregs of nog. “This one is the champion.”

It was a rather good brand, a touch expensive if foggy memory serves him correctly, Remus squinted at the label. Yeah, he was too far gone to read the label. It may be blue, but it could also very well be purple. 

Maybe he should just call in sick to work ahead of time.

“Well, now that my job here is done, we might as well finish off the rest of the cartons, right?”

“I suppose you’re right.”

11:49 p.m.

The table had someone been cleared—everything had been banished to the sink. It was a miracle the rather tipsy James had managed it. He was the most sober out of the lot, though.

“Black.”

“Yes, Evans?”

“My first mistake was saying, can you hold the rum for a sec. My second was looking away.”

“You’ll learned eventually, we all did.”

“I’ll definitely keep that in mind for next time, Peter.” Lily slurred slightly. 

Sirius snuggled up against Remus on the couch. It was so comfy, maybe no one would notice if he just closed his eyes for a moment—

“Oi! Moony! No sleeping. We’ve got loads to talk about.” James threw a pillow at him. That bastard.

“Oh, the ‘werewolf glare’, I’m absolutely terrified.” 

“Hey, what’re those?” Peter pointed to the kitchen counter where, along with at least 3 empty bottles of rum, were two large boxes.

“They’re gingerbread house making kits. I thought James and I could do one each.”

“Moony’s good at art. I bet he could make a better house than you.”

“Padfoot—”

“Excuse me, obviously mine would be the superior one here, I saw your cookies, they were horrific.” James interjected.

“Prongs—”

“Oi! Bugger off! My cookies were utterly smashing. Tell him, Moony.”

“Padfoot—”

“There’s only one way to settle this!” James paused for dramatic effect (and also to finish off the last of his egg nog). “A gingerbread house making contest!”

“Right now?”

“Yes! Lily and I versus you and Moony. Wormtail!”

“Yessir!”

“You have the most important job of all. You have to be the judge.”

“Oui, mon capitan!” Peter saluted. No one questioned why he had suddenly turned French.

“May the best couple win.”

“Oh Merlin. I need another drink for this.”


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> December 9, 1978
> 
> 12:21 a.m.
> 
> “Padfoot! For the last time, the icing is meant to stick things to other things, not to suck on. Stop eating it!”
> 
> “If it wasn’t meant for eating, it wouldn’t taste so good.”
> 
> ‘Do you really want to lose to Prongs and Lily?”
> 
> “Merlin, no.”
> 
> “Then STOP EATING OUR BLOODY ICING!”

December 9, 1978  
12:08 a.m.

“You’ve got forty-five minutes to make the best sodding gingerbread houses I have ever seen before in my life.” Peter announced gravely. He sat perched on a barstool he’d found (or transfigured? No one really cared to ask). The kitchen table had also been moved into the living room (“The lighting is so much better in here, I can’t work with such harsh lighting!” “You and your bloody posh eyes.”)

“You two are going down,” Sirius fairly growled across the table.

“Losing couple has to come out of the closet.”

“You mean, get locked into the closet.”

“No, the locking bit isn’t important, it’s the coming out that’s the important bit.” Lily stared at Remus. 

Remus shrunk back in his chair, savouring his last bit of whisky and sanity.

“Couples ready?”

“Aye!”

“Aye?”

“Sod off, aye!”

“Oh no.”

“Go!”

There was an utter flurry of thrown plastic and shrieking while opening the boxes. Peter scooted his chair back a few feet.

12:15 a.m.

“Potter, you insufferable toe rag, hold your wall still.”

“I’m doing my very best, Lily-flower. You seem to be shaking. Would you like me to do that for you?”

“Bugger off!”

12:21 a.m.

“Padfoot! For the last time, the icing is meant to stick things to other things, not to suck on. Stop eating it!”

“If it wasn’t meant for eating, it wouldn’t taste so good.”

‘Do you really want to lose to Prongs and Lily?”

“Merlin, no.”

“Then STOP EATING OUR BLOODY ICING!”

12:33 a.m.

“Red sweet.”

A single red sweet was passed from James’s pile. He was carefully guarding it since he caught Sirius swiping some of his icing earlier. Everything must be kept close.

“Green sweet.”

Lily’s tongue stuck between her teeth, in an attempt to help her concentrate.

Just when James thought his fiancée couldn’t get any more adorable.

“I said green sweet! It’s like I’m talking to myself, bloody hell! If we lose, I swear to Merlin—”

12:45 a.m.

“I’m so bloody tired.”

“Moony, we can’t let Evans win. Here, eat a few sweets, the sugar will help you get through this.”

“You’re right! How dare she bring up the closet anyways.”

“Closet?”

“Erm, nothing. I said nothing. You’re dripping icing on the table.”

“Balls!”

12:54 a.m.

“Lily, no matter what happens, I’m really proud of what we accomplished here.”

“Me too, James, even if you are a shite artist.” Lily kissed her fiancé.

“Moony, no matter what happens, we won.” Sirius licked the icing off of Remus’s cheek. Lily squeaked, she thought it was adorable. James tried to do the same to her. She hit him.

“Padfoot, you’re ridiculous.”

“No, I’m Sirius.”

“Wormtail! Who’s the winner?”

“Well, Team Prongs obviously gets points for cleanliness and accuracy.”

“I told you I wasn’t that shaky!”

“However, Team WolfStar—”

“Excuse me? Where the bloody hell did you come up with that?”

“What? It fits!”

“I agree with Wormtail, I love the name. Please continue and crown Moony and I the winners.”

“As I was saying, Team WolfStar gets bonus points for creativity. I never would have thought you could actually design a lion on the roof like that.”

“So what you’re saying is…?”

“Team WolfStar triumphs over all!” Sirius shouted, picking Peter up and spinning him around.

“Umm, yes, in essence.”

“Lily, Prongs, I banish you to the closet!”

Lily huffed, and kicked her chair back. She grabbed James’s wrist and dragged him into the closet.

“That was a rather eventful evening, wouldn’t you say, Moony?”

“Indeed it was, Padfoot.”

4:36 a.m.

Remus’s internal clock woke up him. He knew he was already running late.

Looking down at Sirius, who was somehow sharing the small couch with him, he decided it was worth skiving off a day of work. Sure, he might get fired, but as a werewolf, it was an inevitable fate.

Sirius stirred lightly in his sleep, muttered lightly under his breath, and buried his nose further into Remus’s jumper.

Oh yes, the perfect day to skive off work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thank you for reading! If there's any huge mistakes, lemme know (again... I'm a little tipsy, so I didn't edit quite like I usually do). I also apologize if this was incredibly cheesy.
> 
> Please leave a kudos/comment (or just hit on me, that's okay too).
> 
> Have a lovely day!
> 
> Please drink and craft responsibly.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks again for all the comments and kudos (and hits) you lot are giving me. They really make my day! This particular episode was really fun to write. (Let me know if there are any obvious glaring mistakes, I may or may not be kind of tipsy right now... in my defence, Thursdays are my days off, so I always drink on Wednesdays)
> 
> Please leave a kudos/comment!
> 
> AND REMEMBER! 1) There are two chapters this time. AND 2) Always drink and craft responsibly.


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